Sunday, September 23, 2007

I'm really cranky right now

I'm sitting on the plane en route to New Orleans. I just discovered I forgot to charge my computer so I thought I'd try typing on my Sprint Mogul. I'm sitting next to the fat white retard in his late 40s who is listening to his iPod and beating on invisible drums in the air in front of him.

I'm all about ‘getting into’ your music in private, but there's nothing like an ugly fat guy enjoying his music too much to make you wish the plane had an ejector seat.

This turd actually was listening to his music while we were waiting to take off and while we took off. I realize that his stupid iPod is unlikely to really interfere with the plane's navigational equipment, but I suppose I really am a rule follower and disapprove of ugly stupid people who don't follow directions.

I know I should really be more respectful of idiots because I fasted yesterday and enjoyed a little introspection on the occasion of Yom Kippur. I sought forgiveness for all evil actions and thoughts. And I suppose I've already gone ahead and started to have evil thoughts.

I'm a bad person. I'm sitting here in seat 11D enjoying The New Pornographers on my iPod (saw them in concert Monday!), but was respectful of the FAA's dumb regulations. I was also considerate of the people around me by not behaving like a freak. I bet he's listening to Jimmy Buffett or Van Halen. I tried to sneak a peak at his iPod to see what this psychotic behavior was all about, but couldn't get a good look.

I think I'm just in a cranky mood because I have to go to a conference and I'm not so sure I'm feeling so confident about my presentation tomorrow, so I need some time to rehearse, but I'm going to have to go schmooze with other conference-goers. Maybe it will be more enjoyable than I envision.

Or maybe it's just that it's hot outside. Or that nearly everyone in the Charlotte airport, where I just changed planes, was superfat and I'm tired of seeing superfat people because they represent the decay of this country. People who drive SUVs to CostHo and Wal-Fart and vote for George Bush.

Okay. Deep breath. I'm starting to calm down to the sounds of The Decemberists. It's a nice way to tune out the rest of the world. And not think about the annoying fat people drinking Diet Coke and tuning out the world by tuning into their iPods too. And I'm thrilled to know that a drained battery on my laptop won't keep me from complaining.

1 comment:

Sh'dezia said...

Tell it, girl! I don't like riding them buses either.

About Me | Contact Me | 2007 Joey Goldman