tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-153505892024-02-20T13:52:13.507-08:00Splenda Sucks...by Joey GoldmanUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger114125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-82641417740865377252010-12-12T21:30:00.000-08:002014-01-07T21:04:39.082-08:00Post-Chanukah blues (and reds, oranges, yellows and greens)
Last night, after I finished frying a tray’s worth of post-Chanukah potato latkes, I reached into the gleaming lights of the refrigerator – that bright, massive cavern filled with beautiful jars of jam, squares of white cheese, and bottles of sparkling water and wine – and pulled out a bowl, five inches in diameter, filled with pineapple sauce. The sauce, a golden heap of fruit that I had cookedUnknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-78506415628414623062010-11-14T17:07:00.000-08:002010-11-14T17:14:38.182-08:00Strategic visioning workshopI was working in a Starbucks because I needed an internet connection. [Yes, if you read that too quickly, it will sound as if I’d been a Starbucks employee.] I confess I usually try to avoid the places with their unimpressive coffee doled out at higher-than-appropriate prices based on the added volume of milk whipped into the drinks, but I know they are adored by just about everyone else (when Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-63942377561777600012010-11-13T20:45:00.000-08:002010-11-14T16:58:01.469-08:00Am I on a bus?People behaving badly. I am on a Continental Airlines flight from Newark to San Francisco, lucky enough to be upgraded and sitting in First Class. Everyone was just boarding and filling up the bins. I watch as a sweaty late 40s white Continental male flight attendant (who calls himself a flight coordinator), “Rick,” from Houston runs around frantically trying to take drink orders, stow luggage Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-6256802729686720202010-08-31T23:15:00.001-07:002010-08-31T23:24:38.296-07:00Hell on earth: Walgreen's sucksI was in Walgreen’s the other day. I’m usually there a couple of times a day, even though it is one of my least favorite places in the world, and even though a terrible Walgreen’s store went in where a Rite Aid previously had existed across from my office. Although there are many terrible things about Walgreen’s, I have prepared a list of the top 5 terrible things:1. The stupid products that are Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-20212364539681463312010-08-30T19:03:00.000-07:002010-08-30T19:06:56.054-07:00Something odd about thisI took this photo in Waikiki. I can imagine how appealing it might be for a tourist from the Mainland to go sit and have her toenails done while she's chomping on a big fat funnel cake, with the grease and powdered sugar oozing down her arm: it's good for the skin.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-22171568698233884252010-08-13T18:56:00.000-07:002010-08-30T19:00:31.094-07:00Just an observation about MinnesotaI just spent the last few days in Minneapolis, with a little time in St. Paul. I had a meeting to attend so I made a short vacation out of it, bringing Brad along to continue our exploration of the great cities of the American Midwest. First there was Pittsburgh, for a family Thanksgiving and later a funeral, then Cleveland for a wedding. A couple of trips to Cincinnati to visit my sister and Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-16262647614250131532010-08-12T22:48:00.000-07:002010-08-15T22:49:03.825-07:00BackI’ve been regretting not having the flights lately that have allowed me to keep writing, and looking at my schedule for the months ahead, I will probably have plenty of time to catch up. There was that pesky one-month trip to Italy that got in the way, and I didn’t bring my laptop along for that one. And then after being on vacation for a month I didn’t have very many negative thoughts, so there Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-9935425489523642422010-05-23T08:14:00.000-07:002010-08-30T19:11:25.372-07:00The perils of travel to the South and backI spent the last week in Atlanta and rural Georgia. As I child, I spent tons of time in Atlanta, because I lived there, but also in other parts of Georgia: Savannah, Augusta, the Okeefenokee Swamp, Sea Island, Gainesville, Jekyll Island, Dahlonega, Macon, Cleveland, Helen, and others. These are all places that aren’t widely known to the people in my current social circles, but would easily Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-68969281724766110242010-05-14T21:20:00.000-07:002010-08-30T19:11:57.650-07:00Looking for a careerI’ve been trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. I can certainly carry on writing reports about buses going up and down streets and making turns. I can write more reports about bringing large items and mobility aids and strollers on buses and trains. I can write even more reports about land use planning and long range community development plans. And I can write copy Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-40115243447066689852010-05-02T20:38:00.000-07:002010-08-30T19:12:26.875-07:00Yard workCompletion of a garden. When our house was nearing the completion stage, I was getting excited about planting the yard. In my mind, I saw a beautiful yard filled with lush flowers in yellow and blue, every herb imaginable, flowering fruit trees cascading on the slope from above. I sketched a five minute plan and showed it to Brad and gesticulated that there would be trees and flowers and birds Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-45558038166350506352010-04-30T20:30:00.000-07:002010-08-30T19:12:49.151-07:00Sad and madSad. Watching the 16-year old Asian girl with ill-fitting clothes and a runny nose on the Muni subway train reading a book of Garfield comic strips Mad. Having to walk out of my office building through the crowd of cigarette-puffing German, Italian, Russian, French and Japanese 18- to 22-year olds in tight jeans who won’t step aside after walking outside of their English language classes on the Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-28409877320836905742010-04-20T21:25:00.000-07:002010-08-30T19:13:22.744-07:00Pardon my tirade about some labor unionsMore and more often, my experience with labor unions involves corruption, strong arming, and protecting the lazy. I used to be a big union advocate, because I understood unions stood up for all of the little people and gave them the power they otherwise did not have in terms of collective bargaining. When unions first started, they had a noble purpose, but I wonder whether they still do. I offer Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-34280481058921276872010-03-27T18:09:00.000-07:002010-08-30T19:13:54.549-07:00My bad driving is okayYou’ve heard me complain about people who drive the Toyota Prius. It’s that somewhat uglyish-funkyish car that looks like a wedge of cheese-something on wheels. It’s typically driven by an incompetent foolishly bad driver. In the olden days, Volvo drivers were the bad ones, but then they all moved on to the Prius, which allowed me to buy a Volvo. And to knock people who drive the Prius. That car.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-24092199463423990812010-03-04T23:04:00.000-08:002010-08-30T19:14:17.353-07:00Censorship up in the airDullness. I’ve been pondering why people live in incredibly dull places. Most of America is incredibly dull. Incredibly large Super Target stores with incredibly enormous parking lots. Incredibly boring malls with all of the same stores that are at all of the incredibly boring malls in all of the other incredibly dull places. Incredibly drab people shuffling their incredibly plain children in andUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-63254809689487360632010-02-28T20:41:00.000-08:002010-08-30T19:15:44.848-07:00Thank you waitress, now go awayI missed breakfast in my hotel by six minutes, so I hopped in the car and started driving through the suburban hell known as Glendale, Arizona. I passed a Chili’s and an Olive Garden, a Starbucks and a Swensens’. I drove by a Fat Burger and a Subway, and then saw a parking lot full of cars that old people drive – Buicks, Pontiacs, Saturns and Toyotas – and realized I had arrived at my destinationUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-50681189846374850952010-02-06T09:30:00.000-08:002010-02-06T09:52:18.370-08:00Bulky items on transit (or passive aggressive ways to annoy the bad people)I just took a break from my work. I’m sitting on a plane watching a dreary Australian movie about a single father trying to raise his two sons after his wife dies. Everything runs amok and I’m sure that eventually the nice blonde young woman will help him get it together. I’m glad that I didn’t see this film in a theatre, or waste a Netflix selection on it.I’m on my way home from Honolulu where IUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-83838288360695143782010-01-26T22:28:00.000-08:002010-02-06T09:56:01.047-08:00Unsuitable for eatingI am told I used to be a good cook, but I no longer am one. That is what happens when you are in a relationship: you are not told that you are a good cook. You are told that you are not a good cook. <?xml:namespace prefix = o />My specialties of yesteryear have been thwarted on a few fronts. First, I think I forgot how to cook. I don’t do it enough. Second, the last few years have been the Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-34118451425824174462010-01-19T22:14:00.000-08:002010-01-19T22:18:31.099-08:00Why have I been AWOL?I couldn’t get it together over the last several months to complain about anything in writing because I was complaining so much about everything and everyone verbally. It takes a lot of effort to get stressed out about all of the annoying things in the world and to internalize and vocalize all of that annoyance. I’m usually pretty good as spurting out my annoyances on Splenda Sucks, but I’ve Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-31996308195097767262009-12-27T22:09:00.000-08:002009-12-27T22:12:42.214-08:002010: The hiatus is overIt's been a long, long year. It sucked. And there was not much time to rant and rave about all of the things that sucked.My apologies for blowing you off the last few months, but I moved into my remodeled house and worked too hard at the same time. I'm chilling out now and will have plenty more to complain about shortly. Stay tuned. And Happy New Year.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-83983647891210553782009-09-17T08:34:00.000-07:002010-03-17T08:39:01.879-07:00We were at 17I had a relaxing flight from San Francisco to Dallas this afternoon. An open seat to my left in United’s Economy Plus section; I half-watched a movie while I worked; I listened to music for a while and made sure to avoid that Public Works Department Show starring Amy Poehler which they showed after the movie, because it’s annoying and reminds me too much of my real job. Tomorrow I fly back on theUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-33110376948543502632009-08-28T12:50:00.000-07:002009-08-28T12:56:05.870-07:00Blueberries thrill meSee what I picked in New Hampshire. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-87604929316342218952009-08-26T17:48:00.000-07:002010-01-19T22:34:05.725-08:00Fat people’s supermarket and skinny people’s supermarketIn San Francisco, two supermarkets stand at opposite corners, along Folsom Street at 14th Street. One of these supermarkets has the fattest clientele in San Francisco; the other has the skinniest clientele. Foods Co. I used to shop at Foods Co from time to time. This is a store owned by Cincinnati-based Kroger, which also operated San Francisco’s depressing Bell Markets and Cala Foods until most Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-52642386893304845352009-08-22T12:00:00.000-07:002010-01-19T22:39:36.255-08:00Sleeping in other people's bedsLiving in California, I have known many people who are surfers. In Southern California, they pull on their swimsuits, jump in the van and launch down to a swath of ocean known for its rideable waves. In Northern California, they ease their bodies into their chilled, damp wetsuits and head to Pacifica or Ocean Beach to lollygag in the fog until they sense a big wave’s coming to carry them to Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-29956706451344235902009-08-14T03:41:00.000-07:002009-08-26T17:44:24.559-07:00PeeveyWhy won’t people do what I want them to do? I can look at person and think to myself that I would not do that if I were them, and they do it anyway. They talk in ways that I don’t like, do things that are unhealthy or annoying. Some of my peeves:The old couple with the Texas accents at the Houston airport opening Wendy’s salt packets with their teeth and dumping them on a hamburger for the Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15350589.post-54262691761313681652009-07-15T22:00:00.000-07:002009-07-17T17:03:42.234-07:00A tale of two citiesDetroit is the city that played a major role in changing the world for the worse. And in the end, the world got back at it, leaving it one of the most troubled – and troubling – cities in the hemisphere. Ann Arbor, I learned today, is the fantasy complement to the hard core reality of Detroit.I started my day in lively Ann Arbor. It’s a small city, and it would feel too small for me to live Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0